I sometimes feel like I have to show that I'm strong.

I think I'm dead scared of being vulnerable and insecure.

For some reason, I look up to people who are able to show their insecurities and vulnerability to the rest of the world. Unfortunately, I don't find it as easy as many other people do.

I often feel like I'm the only one feeling this, though I know that other people feel it too, and I do, I do try telling myself that it's okay because I'm not really alone, I'm not the only one feeling this, but that still doesn't take away what I feel.

So many things I wish I could change, but I don't want to keep holding onto something that I want to change but might not be able to. It really does kill me inside sometimes, I just.. don't show it. I'm scared to. I'm scared that if I do show it, I won't receive the reaction I want. Yeah, not good, I know, I shouldn't have such expectations. I'm just afraid of getting hurt. I'm afraid of trying too hard and then feeling insecure because I might not have gotten the reaction I wanted.

My intentions are/were never to hurt, never to ruin anything, never, really. I just handled some things wrong.

I didn't realise this before. Unlucky me, the realisation came a little too late.

What am I to do. We live, we learn,right?

So there, I'm going all out, I'm going to be vulnerable, I'm going to say what I really feel and not always put up a strong wall.

and I actually feel alot better now.

Venting is good.

good weekend ahead, please.

On another note, my love and prayers are with the Iranian Baha'is. Court trial is dated for Saturday. Such bravery brings me to tears.